Two Thousand Nine Was Mighty Fine

2009 started for me in sunny AZ, while I was living in Portland... and is going to end with me in rainy Seattle, but living in AZ. I'll take that switch any day. I did, however, sleep through New Year's last year. This time around, I have a feeling its going to be significantly different. Wusse, Pie, Flowbee, P-Rye, Mongo, Venus and who knows what Axemen will all be ringing in the New Year together whilst sporting our best Swinging 20's outfits.

A little reflection on the past 12 months...

New Year's day was spent mountain biking down South Mountain... my first time back on a mountain bike since that ill-advised trip to Moab 10 years earlier. But, it got the fire going again and I have since dusted off the bike and gone a ton of fun adventures around Arizona. Thanks to Kessans and Hannah and Angel for taking me some kick ass trails, both hiking and biking. I am looking forward to many more adventures and hoodoo climbing and cactus needles in my ass and vegetable games and boxed wine by campfire and seeking out elusive water holes and blowing my quads trying to keep up with Kessans and well, you get the idea.

I didn't travel as much as I usually do, and that was a bit of a downer for me. I did, however, move 1500 miles though... I would consider that a significant event for '09. I had been planning to move either to AZ or San Diego and decided I would let the job gods determine where I ended up. Well, the God's decided that Arizona would be the place and I have been super happy with the move... I get to live with my LDBFF (even though I hardly get to see her) and I get to wear t-shirts in December! But, I feel San Diego calling my name and I'm thinking in a couple years, I may find myself surfing in the mornings before trekking off to continue the education of our youth.

But, that's not to say I didn't get out of the country. I was able to make my way to Mexico a few times... once on the back of that trusty BMW 1150GS, and twice to chase Dragonfire around the deserts of the Baja for the 500 and the 1000. It was enough to tide me over temporarily, but this girl needs a lot more truly satisfy that hunger. So, for 2010, I've already got a few trips planned to get my international juices flowing again (Hong Kong, Costa Rica and maybe even South America... as well as the usual trips to the Baja).

And, at least for a short time, I hung up the rugby boots. Okay, I still played in 3 1/2 games, but for the most part, I concentrated on coaching. It was awesome and good to know that WHEN I finally decide to retire FOR GOOD, coaching is going to be a great alternative for me. But, as many of you are aware, the pull to play is still a little too strong. So, with a little help, I'm going to give it one more shot before I end this run. Griffins in 2010? We'll see...

Oh yeah, lets not forget that I ran my first 13.1 miler in January, then again in June up in Seattle. Followed by my first triathlon in March and another in May.... Suda and I managed to take 1st/2nd in one and 2nd/3rd in the other. Not bad for two girls who have trouble training for these things :) I'm shooting for a Half Ironman in July, but I'm going to let rugby take priority this spring/summer and after that we'll see what this body has left in it.

And how can I forget the amazing Dirtys' Merkins? This is social old girls rugby at its finest! No Goals, No Aspirations, No Expectations... We Don't Warm Up, We Show Up (eventually). No words have rang more true, yet we are undefeated in 13 games and are still managing to show the youngsters how to do it. From Maggotfest to Wild West Fest, we'll be taking this shit show beyond the West to Saranac Lake... and how about a little Merkins in New Zealand for the 2011 World Cup? I like the sound of that.

Last, but certainly not least... this shout out goes the Wolf Pack. My trusty side kicks as we all try to survive the first year at the craziest high school you can imagine. But it goes beyond that... we are each other's rocks and with out them, I think I would have bought a ticket for the crazy train much sooner (yes, I'm still pretty sure there's a ticket with my name on it... its just at willcall).

So, there you go - 2009 WAS mighty fine! As for 2010 well, I'm going to make it a douchebag free year and I'm going to get back to ME. Yep, selfish old me :) Although, I would love for you all to come along for the ride!

Note to self...

I do believe its time for me to sit down and figure out what I REALLY want out my life. What is important to me? What is a deal breaker? What is an absolute must? Because, right now, I'm sort of shooting from the hip and going recklessly about certain aspects of my life. I need to refocus on what makes ME happy in life... then maybe I'll see if I can fit someone into it.

Its so funny how easy you can get caught up in a moment. Caught up in something you think is really good for you, something you think you want, something you think is right. Only to find out in the end, that it wasn't what you thought it was. I can do without the lies and disappointment. I know I sort of allowed myself to get sucked in to something I never really knew if I wanted or not. So, if its alright with you all, I'd like to call a mulligan on the last couple months.

Of course I shouldn't say I want a complete redo of the last 2 months because there was some positives that came out of this most recent experience. I learned that I am capable of trying something out that I thought in the past I would never do. I stopped pigeon-holing myself and I went outside of my own box (insert crude joke here)... And now I know that things can develop where you thought there was nothing. I discovered a very true and genuine friendship existed where I once thought it wasn't possible. And for that, I am especially thankful.

Last night I had a conversation with a good friend around the chimenea of truth and after lots of talk (and wine), I realized there are a few things that I know ALWAYS make me happy - good friends and whitty conversation, long bike rides along beautiful mountains, hiking remote trails to unbelievable water holes, road trips on my motorcycle, traveling the world and experiencing amazing things, rugby (yes, it still makes me incredibly happy) and my adorable nephews.

I think that's where I need to start. Never lose those sight of those things... because the moment I forget about those things, is the moment I lose sight of me. And next think you know, I'm looking for happiness from someone else -- I'm relying on another person to fulfill me. Stupid, right? Yeah, I know it is. So, this is where I start. Because in the end, I'm the only one who is going to make me happy.

So, here's my reminder of me doing the things I love and smiling the whole way through life...


Can you hang?!?!?

2009 Baja 1000... More Than Just a Race

I can't tell you how amazingly timed this years Baja 1000 was. If there was ever a time when I needed to get out of town and just enjoy life without all the hassles and drama and disappointments, this was it. Mexico does wonderful things for me, and when you couple it with a great group of people, then life doesn't get much better than this.

Start off with another victory for Dragonfire Racing. Car #1803 driven by Reid Nordin, Hans Waage, Todd Romano and Larry Roessler wins by a landslide! Larry let us take his pre-runner out to follow him down the coastline of the course. So, I jumped in with Reid and we ran the course behind Larry for about 50 miles. It was AWESOME! The coastline was beautiful and the ride was unbelievable. Thanks to Reid for letting me tag along and thanks to Larry for letting us take his ride out on the course!

There was a bit of drama though... but its the type of drama that goes with the territory. On Wednesday, the boys were headed out for a nice ride down to Ojos Negros, through Valle de Trinidad and would eventually end up at Mike's Sky Ranch, where we were going to stay the night. But, everything went terribly wrong just as they left Ojos Negros. Jack was in the lead and evidentially, kicked up a ton of dirt behind him... as Rasp came flying through at 70+ mph, he didn't see the barbed wire fence ahead of him. He slammed on his breaks, but it wasn't in time, his bike went down and he flew off, breaking his collarbone. Right behind him was Erik, who ended up going straight into a 4" x 4" fence post with his back. Kyle was also unable to stop, ran over Erik and ended up breaking both of his wrists. Gus was last to come in and ended up also running over Erik. Considering they had all ran into a barbed wire fence, we are so lucky that they only ended up with a couple broken bones.

Here's the deal - Rasp was supposed to race on Friday with Team 349x, but with the broken collar bone, it wasn't going to happen. Jeff decided to take over his leg. I'm beginning to think that Jeff is bad luck because 349x didn't make it past mile 40 before something blew on the bike. So, we decided it was time to get beers (at 9 am). The funny thing is, at 1 pm, word came over the radio that it was back in the race... oops. But, the scary thing is, at this point the trophy trucks are now on the course along with the Class I cars. There is now way Jeff, who has now had a half a dozen beers, should be riding over the summit with huge trucks barreling down on him. So, he opted out of the race. In the end, it was a great decision. 349x went through check at RM 101 but was never seen again. By the time we left the Baja Saturday night (24 hours later) they still hadn't found him.

So, we hung out at Borrego for most of the afternoon and caught all the action as the Trophy Trucks, Class I Cars, Motorcycles and Quads came flying through. There were helicopters buzzing over our heads that came so close to each other that I thought for sure they were going to crash. And they were so close to the ground, that you could feel the air from their blades.



After most the trucks came through, it was time to just chill and wait for the Dragonfire car to come through the check. As expected, it was blowing the rest of the cars in its class out of the water. Reid arrived around 7 pm at Borrego and turned the car over the Hans. Jack and I took of for the West Coast to meet the car at San Vincente. It was a 5 hour drive to get there and by the time we arrived it was freezing cold and we were exhausted. We grabbed our blankets and attempted to get a couple hours of sleep while we waited. Let me just tell you, that 2 people sleeping in the cab of a pick up truck is not the most comfortable thing in the world. But, we managed to get through and wake up just in time to make a coffee run before Reid came in. He turned the car over to Larry who brought it home...

So, that's my Baja story. You really do have to be there to understand how frickin awesome it is.

Gettin out of here!

Its Baja time again - back to the 1000. No Ironman riders this time, but good times will still be had. And let me tell you, this getaway could not have come at a better time. I am sooooo ready to get the heck out of here and leave it all behind me.

I've decided that a new outlook on life is in need. I need to rethink the way I've been going about things and consider other options. I recently learned that I am too strong willed. That my independence is intimidating. That I don't let people in enough and in the end, I just push them away. Hmmmm... maybe. Maybe I need to learn to be a little less opinionated and little more conforming. Maybe I need to learn to keep my mouth shut, smile and nod.

What defines you as a person? How do you become the person you are today? Recently, as in the past few years, I've been trying to redefine myself. Not "change" who I am per say, but break out the mold that has pigeon-holed me for so long. I've been known as stubborn, outspoken and "passionate". I think the last one is my favorite. That's what people call me when they're trying to be nice. Because we all know that "passionate" just means hot-headed. This is all true. I'll be the first to admit.

I don't like the way some people have defined me. I think they only see one side of me and therefore, they have made up their mind about who I am. But, that's only because I really don't want to let people see the softer side. SHOCKING, but there is a softer side inside this outspoken person. You just have to stick around long enough to see it.

Why would I just let you in without you proving to me that you're worth it? I've had too many people come and go in my life to know better than to just let you walk right on in. So, when you say you don't know me, thats because I don't want you to know me. I don't want you to see beyond the tough exterior I put out. You don't deserve it.

Does that sound a little angry? Sure it does. Do I care? Not really. That doesn't mean I don't care about YOU, it just means you're going to have to be a pretty outstanding person to see who I am behind the wall. So, go on thinking that I'll kick your ass if you step out of line (even though I've never been in a fight) and go on thinking that I'm too strong-willed (even though my tenacity is usually aimed at protecting YOUR rights) and please, please think that I'm too independent (even though I've been taking care of myself since well before any of you could even imagine).

I can be better person (EVERY ONE can be a better person) and I can learn to think a little more before I react. I like me, but that doesn't mean I'm not willing to take a step back and improve on me. But, do you get to critique me? Only if you really know me.

Tempe Women v Nor Cal Triple Threat Match Report

Tempe women took their game on the road for the first time this season. Tempe started off very slow, taking a bit of time to adjust to the turf and the heat. Nor Cal took full advantage of the lethargic start and attacked straight up the middle of the field. Dynamic play by Nor Cal’s flanker and 8-man put Nor Cal on the board first at the 20 minute mark. Conversion was good and the score was 0-7. Tempe had yet to find the fire and Nor Cal was still hitting hard, within 10 minutes, Nor Cal was scoring again off a few missed tackles. Conversion no good, score 0-12. Tempe launched a few solid attacks but was not able to get the ball across in to the try zone. The halftime whistle blew and it was 0 – 12 Nor Cal.

Half time found a renewed fight in Tempe, but Nor Cal would not let up. At the 50 minute mark, Nor Cal put in another well executed try, conversion no good, score 0-17. Tempe finally started to find their groove and at the 55 minute mark, big pressure by the Tempe forwards created bad ball for the Nor Cal backs. Terri Wilson intercepted a pass and ran it in under the posts. Conversion was good and Tempe was finally on the board 7-17. With the swing in momentum, Tempe was on the attack and Nor Cal found themselves on their heals. 10 minutes later, Tempe forwards poached a ball, and spun it out to the backs. Flyhalf Toni Fujiwara put up a chip kick that had a generous bounce in to winger Alea Newman’s hands. Some evasive running and Alea was in the try zone. Conversion no good. Score 12-17.

Tempe continued the attack and brought the ball back down the field. Another half-break by Terri Wilson with a nice offload to Andrea Dunn into space. Nor Cal was able to get under the ball and the try was no good. 5 meter scrum to Tempe. A solid scrum by Tempe set up an 8-man pick by Kanisha Saunders who went weak. Winger Alli Underhill was in support and Kanisha offloaded to a crashing Alli who was able to put it down in the corner. Conversion no good. Score 17-17. As time was winding down, Tempe launched its final attack, bringing the ball to just outside the 22. Nor Cal came in from the side and it was penalty to Tempe. With no time on the clock, Christen Suda stepped up and coolly slotted the kick. The whistle was blown and the comeback was complete. Final Score Tempe 20 – Nor Cal 17.

Tries: Terri Wilson (55 min), Alea Newman (66 min), Alli Underhill (75 min)
Conversions: Christen Suda
Penalty Kicks: Christen Suda (80 min)

Heart of the Game: Terri Wilson
110 % Hammer: Chelsea McIntosh
Big Hit: Christen Suda (game winning kick with no time left)
Forward of the Game: Chelsea McIntosh
Back of the Game: Toni Fujiwara

I Hope You Dance...

I dance. I love to dance. For as much as I dwell on the bad decisions I have made in my life and for as many blogs as I have written about wishing I had more, I still dance. I think I have focused too much lately on the down-side to being spontaneous. Yes, I eat too much and I buy things I can't afford and I fall in love with the wrong people... but look at all the amazing things its also allowed me to do. You see, that impulsive side has also led me on some of the most incredible adventures and experiences of my life.

The crazy thing is, I didn't used to be so "in-the-moment". I used to fill out my check book with every entry, down to the penny and have spreadsheets for every thing going on in my life. When I was younger, I was afraid to take those risks that lead to epic moments in our lives. I was afraid to step outside of the box and challenge the norm. I went along with the popular crowd and did what was expected of me. When you graduate from high school, you're supposed to go to college, then you finish college and your supposed to get a job, find a husband and get married. So, I did that. But I was just going through the motions. I didn't know what I actually wanted in life. I had no idea who I was.

I wish I knew when it changed, but somewhere along I wanted more out of my life. I can't tell you the defining moment that I went from anal to spontaneous, but regardless of when/where it happened, I think its always been in me. Unfortunately, in order to find myself, I hurt someone along the way. I never meant to leave, but I wasn't being true to myself. So, I had to do what was right for me. I wish I would have taken a closer look at myself when I was younger, then I could have seen that things weren't right for me, but that's all a part of living and growing up. With impulse comes a little selfishness. I know that about myself... and I'm definitely working on fixing that.

So now I take advantage of every opportunity that's presented to me. I go at things 100% and I try not to look back. For all the bad decisions I've made in my life, there have always been positives that came out of it. I think that's the one thing that has always been a steady about me -- I go at things 100%. I make the most out of shitty situations. I see the bright side to things and I laugh things off.

And now look at where I am now - I am living in Arizona, single, coaching (not playing) rugby, making some amazing new friends who take me on some badass adventures, and I'm the happiest I have been in YEARS. I've weeded out people in my life who are not good for me and found the ones that really matter the most. I'm not afraid to make a fool out of myself (clearly). And everday, I dance.

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Livin' might mean takin' chances but they're worth takin',
Lovin' might be a mistake but it's worth makin',
Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter,
When you come close to sellin' out reconsider,
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

Stop the Sucking.

I'm getting sucked back in... As time passes on, its been so easy to just think about the good things. I am a positive person by nature.... which means I forget about all the negative. My mind likes to wander back to only the happy times -- that rush, the laughter, the excitement, the butterflies in my stomach (damn, I love those butterflies).

I tend to forget about how bad it hurt and how long the pain would linger. And the days it would take me to recover. Yet, despite all these things, I still find myself getting lulled back into the comfort of old habits.

I have had a few conversations with people close to me and I get conflicting advice. Some say to give it one more chance and that maybe it'll be different. Others say to be done and that it will never be the way it was before. The problem is, I have to tried to walk away...but I am in love. For all the pain it has caused me... it has created even more happiness in my life.

What is it about this one thing that makes it so hard to walk away? I have walked away from so many other things in my life. Yet this one thing keeps sucking me back in. If you've been around me, you might have noticed that this question has been eating me up for a while now --do I just walk away? Or, do I give it one more chance?

This last week was the hardest - it was all right there in front of me. All of the reasons I've thought about giving it one more chance. I had the butterflies and the nervousness of not knowing... But then there was that voice inside my head saying "of course it feels good now... but how's it going to feel next week, when you're hurt again?"

You see, I am a life long athlete. I've been playing competitive sports since I was 4 years old. I went through the standard growths that most average athletes go through (Freshman, JV to Varsity). But I was never a standout. No one really noticed me. I was average for so much of my life...

Until I found rugby.

And just like that, it clicked. And after a couple years, I was getting noticed. For the first time in my life, I was excelling and I was the one people pointed out. Fast forward 15 years and I still want in on the action. Sure, I'm not quite as fast, but my pass is still one of the best, I can still kick the shit out of the ball and I can put anyone in to a gap.

And so much of who I am today, is because of rugby. The women I played with have been a huge inspiration in my life. Rugby has taken me around the world from Spain to New Zealand to Hong Kong. Most of my closest and dearest friends I found through rugby. I didn't realized how much I loved this game and the people involved in it... until I tried to leave it.

But yet, I'm also finding out that I'm a pretty good coach. Its a lot like teaching, so of course I'd enjoy it. Its not the same as putting your boots on before, Eminem pumping in to earbuds, standing on the line just before kick off, and then everything going silent as the ball flies through the air... but there's still the excitement, the "I think I'm going to throw up" nerves, the adrenaline rush. Its just focused on other people and I'm no longer the one calling the shots at kick off.

So, I guess in the end, I just have to ask myself what my motivations are? As an old teammate put it -- do I "avoid the Favre"... retire gracefully, so people remember the good and not the bad or do I feed my stupid ego and give it one more shot?

I gots a lot to think about...

Living in a Plastic Bubble... a Bubble in a Plastic World

The more I think about it, the more I think I'm not unique when I say I am a chronic over-thinker. The way I see it, getting out and experiencing life isn't the worst way to distract yourself. Other people immerse themselves in their jobs or remodeling their house or working out to keep their minds from consuming them... we all have our own way of making it through the unpleasantries of life.

My neurosis is that I love the world. I want to learn about the unknown. I want to see things that less then 5% of Americans will ever see. I want to experience uncomfortable situations so I can become a stronger person. I like that I've lived in the jungle of Mexico for 2 summers... survived on a baguette and $2 bottle of wine a day for 7 weeks while backpacking through Europe... toured around New Zealand for 4 months in a $300 car I bought from some stranger on the side of the road... Those are some of the things that have shaped who I am today.

My therapist will tell you that this is why I am single. That I don't stop long enough to actually meet anyone. That the people I do meet are not the ones who want to settle down, because they only want the adventure and the adrenaline rush... But you know what, I call bullshit on that. Why can't you have both? Why can't you meet someone WHILE you're out adventuring and then share your adventures with them? Think outside the box!

Damn, I'm rambling. Refocus -- there was a reason for this blog...

My original point for this was to talk about how through all my travels, I thought I was a very worldly person and that I had exposed myself to so many different cultures. But what I'm realizing is that, when I travel, the people I've met along the way all tended to be very much like me. Those with that adventurous side, who love to put themselves out there and step outside their comfort zone -- we all tend to migrate towards each other. Even though I travel and see the world, I seem to always meet the same people. Whether its the SCUBA divers from Denmark or the photographers from Puerto Vallarta or the musicians from Canada... they're all the same people who love the world around them and want nothing more than to get as much of it as possible before they're gone from it.

All this means is that my exposure to new views or conflicting opinions has been very limited. And when it has happened, I was always surrounded by my own people, who would back up MY views and let the other person know they were wrong. Its only been in the last few years that I have actually been able to have a real conversation with someone who doesn't agree with me and NOT get pissed off. This is what being a teacher and living in Arizona has showed me. To be open-minded to the views of those who I don't agree with. And to stay level headed when every ounce of my being wants to challenge every word coming out of their mouth. Granted, I don't always remember to keep my cool, but its getting better.

So, its time to get out of the bubble I have been living in for the past 31 years and realize that the rest of the United States does not operate like Portland, Oregon. How can I call myself open-minded if the only thing I've opened my mind to is views like my own?

"And it's a crazy mixed up world
Full of contradictions
And that's why it hurts so bad sometimes
But that's also why its fun

And I'm gonna love you like, I've got nothing to prove
Feeling good in the pocket
Like an old school… Groooooove

Living in a plastic bubble
A bubble in a plastic world
Ooh, ooh, ooh
Living in a plastic bubble
And it's good"

Plastic Bubble by ALO

Why I Do What I Do.

TWO BLOGS IN ONE DAY!!! WHOA! But putting together the pictures for that last blog really got me thinking...

Have you ever sat back and wondered about what motivates you? As in - why do you do the things you do? I'm not even sure that makes sense (I'm having a hard time putting this into words), but I've been thinking a lot about why I live my life the way I do. I mean, don't get me wrong, I really, really like my life -- I just wonder why I feel the constant need to be on the go all the time.

If you haven't figured out from my blogging, I am a chronic over-thinker. It has plagued me since I was a child. I worry about every little thing - Did I do a good enough job? Are they going to like me? How am I going to pay my bills? What am I going to do about this job that makes me want to cry? Did I say too much? Am I a hypocrite? Who's going to love me if I'm this crazy?

Well, you get the picture... so one of things I've developed over time, is the image that I'm a free spirit, that I fly by the seat of my pants and that things roll off my shoulder. But the reality of the situation is quite the opposite. I stress.

And that's why I think I keep going... if I keep moving and surround myself with things to distract me, it doesn't allow me the time to stress as much. I can't really worry about how I'm going to pay rent when I'm being amazed by a beautiful sunrise coming up over the mountains... nor do I have to acknowledge how much I'm missing my nephews if I don't get home until bed time every night... and I don't have the time to think about how lonely I am when I'm trying real hard not to fall off a cliff.

So, I keep my life packed from the moment I wake up until I pass out every night. Because if I'm not exhausted, I won't fall asleep. Too many night, I stay awake tossing and turning and replaying events from the day. So, I wait until I can't keep my eyes open, so I don't lay in bed thinking about how I could have done handled a situation better or about everything I need to get done in the upcoming days or why I push so many people out of my life, only to regret it later.

But, whatever the reason why... I do know that I LOVE those sunrises and I love playing rugby and I love hiking and I love the adventures and I love being impulsive. So, regardless of WHY I do it, I know that I am getting the most out of this life. And when I'm old and I'm telling my grandchildren stories about my life, they might think that grandma lived a really good life. And maybe, just maybe, it'll inspire them to go out and explore and live their life to the fullest.

GOD DAMN LIFE IS GOOD!

A few weeks ago, I put together a new playlist. Its got a bunch of songs that are meant to remind me to stand up straight, carry my own weight cuz tears are going nowhere baby... that I am strong enough... that I should've known you'd bring me heartache, almost lovers always do... that near to you, I am healing... and that this is one life, you got to do what you should. Music heals my soul. I send music to those I love and those I care about. If I've ever sent you a song or played something for you from my ipod, its because you're important to me. The music is meant to inspire or to take you back to a special place.

And right now, the song of my life is by the String Cheese Incident --"Good Times Around the Bend". The chorus goes something like "Sometimes it seems like such a hard life, but there's good times around the bend.... The Rollercoaster's got to roll to the bottom if you want to climb to the top again" (this is, of course, is set to some awesome banjo-playin'-peace-love-and-happiness tunes) Yep, that's what the last few weeks have felt like. I think I hit botton but the climb out has been unbelievable.

The last few weekends have been un-friggin-believable. This weekend my new favorite peeps - Kessans, Angel and Hannah - took me along with them to Christopher Creek. We hiked/canyoneered/rock climbed/swam/cliff jumped a little over 2 miles down this killer box canyon. As always, I almost didn't go because work was feeling so overwhelming and then I realized how stupid that was... when has work ever decided my life? Never.

And as always, it was an epic trip that I will never forget. I am so lucky to know these adventurous, independent women. Surrounding yourself with such strong women just makes you remember how strong you, yourself are. And that's what I needed. I needed to be reminded of who I am and what I love in this life. So, I jumped in to some canyons (okay, this IS me we're talking about, so it was only like 5' jumps), scaled down the side of some cliffs, sat on a cactus (thanks for pulling the needles out of my ass Hannah!) and in general, just had the time of my life.

Yep, I'm back folks. And, in the words of the immortal Beastie Boys - HEY LADIES... GET FUNKY!!!


Check out Kessans pics from Christopher Creek. (I didn't take any pics cuz I don't have a fancy waterproof camera).

Hannah's will be posted soon...

One Week At A Time...

One week at a time... one day at a time. Keep in mind that, while reflection is good, dwelling just keeps you down. Being strong enough to not look back. And remember that every day, it gets easier and easier.

There's a lot of things I'm taking one week at a time...

Yesterday was my 1 month anniversary of living in Arizona. It doesn't still quite feel like I live here. I have spent so much time on-the-go for the past 2-3 years, that I haven't really let myself settle down and get comfortable. So, the idea of anything permanent in my life is really just a foreign idea. Its weird because 5 years ago I was completely settled, I had roots, I had patterns. But, life was turned upside down and now I'm trying to find a nice happy medium.

Then there's my job - I'm still working ridiculously long days and still feel like I'm just barely keeping my head above water. It's like I'm back to my first year teaching again, and that's not fun. The good thing is, I love my job, love my kids and have a great group of co-workers who are quickly becoming friends.

And for those of you who don't know, I recently took on a coaching position with the Lady Blues. The first week went pretty good... well, at least I think so -- the jury's still out on what the Lady Blues think of me. But just like that, I'm back to the Tuesday/Thursday/Saturday grind.

When you couple the coaching with the 13+ hour days, its leaving very little time for that damn Half Ironman training I'm supposed to be doing. Which really sucks too. I actually thought I was going to stick to my guns and do it... but sometimes life really does get in the way. I'm just going to have to suck it up and do it. No more whining about not having enough time.

On a side note - last weekend I went to Fossil Creek and hiked, camped and swam. It was really beautiful. A lot like Havasupai (one of my top 5 all time favorite hikes) - except its totally accessible by everyone.... EVERYONE. I'm of the opinion that things as beautiful and amazing as this should difficult to get to. You should have to work at it, which makes you appreciate it so much more. But, that's for another blog. It was a fun weekend with some new friends and I hope to be able to do more with them.

Be true to yourself…

I am an “in the moment” type of girl. I want the security and the peace of mind that goes with playing it safe , but the reality is, I’m way too impulsive. Which is when I end up ignoring what my gut is telling me. And then I'm left thinking that, while it was good for a moment, there is absolutely nothing satisfying or fullfilling about it in the long term.

Whether its eating that entire burrito (plus the chips that came with it), or buying an SUV I don't really need, or falling in love with the wrong person, that impulsive side of me forgets about the bigger picture. And then I look back and think "What the hell was I doing!?!?" But by that point, its too late. I blindly acted and before I knew it, there was no turning back.

Now, I can run a few extra miles to burn off that burrito and I can stay in a few nights to afford the car payment... but I haven't figured out what to do about the broken heart. You know how some people say "ignorance is bliss"? Sometimes I think about what life would be like if I lived by that motto... but then I realize that not knowing, just means you play the victim when the truth is revealed. And I'm not a victim. Because sometimes, its just not your fault. Sometimes, that other person is so messed up that no matter how much you give and how much you love, their issues are too big.

And then you realize that love and loving someone is never a mistake. As much as it hurts and as much pain as it can cause, there is always so much positive that comes out of opening yourself up to the experience of it all. You learn about yourself in your darkest moments. You learn what you are capable of. You learn that its okay to be vulnerable. And then you realize that you are going to be okay. You are going to come out of it a better person. Because you are capable of loving someone and you can let someone love you. So that when the right person comes along, you are going to make each other happier then anyone can ever imagine.

But you have to take the time to reflect and actually WANT to learn from the pain. The one majojr thing I have learned is that my gut instinct is RIDICULOUSLY accurate. I know that hindsight is 20/20, but when I look back at all the bad things that have happened to me, my gut always told me better. Yet, I still ignored it. Why is that? Why do I go against my better judgment and end up doing something I later regret? I think I'll start working on that.

It's going to be okay...

What a week! Nothing like jumping straight in, head first... I don't know if I can really describe how hectic the past 8 days have been. From driving 1500 miles over the weekend, to working 55-60 hours (on top of the 1.5 hour commute), to cramming my brain full of dozens of new computer applications that I have to be a master in by Monday. I felt completely over my head.

But, as I looked around me, I realized I was not alone (maybe I was alone in the 1500 mile drive part, but definitely not alone in the "I think my head is going to explode" part). All of my co-workers are in the same boat. We're all a little glossy-eyed and feeling like our brains cannot take in one more ounce of information. Monday to Thursday was spent in training the entire time. By the end of the day Thursday, we all left feeling so overwhelmed and thinking there was no way I would be ready for my students on Friday...

I don't know the last time I've been this nervous about starting a job - I think its because I know I'm not the smartest when it comes to math (or science... long story, but it looks like I might have to teach a biology class too - WTF!?!!) and so I'm scared shitless about having to teach to the Arizona Standards test. If they fail this test, its because I failed them. They can't graduate without passing this test and so it all falls on my shoulders to make sure they learn this. Talk about pressure.

You know what, though? The best thing about teaching is the kids... that sounds cheesy, but they have an incredible way of making you forget about all the stress, the headaches, the problems of life. Of course, some of the headaches are self-induced, like spilling half your coffee down the back of your pants on your drive into work, or leaving your keys in your room in between class periods and thus locking yourself out of your room. Its real fun to have your kids ask you if you sharted yourself... great way to start off the new school year, right?

It actually is pretty appropriate for me... things never go the way they're planned. But, I think the thing I like most about myself is that I can roll with the punches. I laugh at myself when I do stupid things, I can pretend that nothing bothers me and I can make the best out of a bad situation. So, when the kids walked in Friday morning, I cracked a few jokes about myself, they all got a good laugh and just like that, the ice was broken.

And that's when I knew it was all going to be okay. I'm still in over my head, I still am scared to fail them, and I still have no clue what the hell half these computer programs are. But today, when the kids left and I overheard a few of them say that were excited for my class, it all felt right again. I am still a good teacher, I just have to work a little harder at it this year.

Arizona Life - Chapter I

Its kind of surreal to think that 34 years of my life fits in to a 5'x8'x4' box. True to form, I flew to Portland on Wednesday night, packed on Thursday and was on the road Friday morning. Also in total Fuji fashion, I stopped off in Long Beach to play some 7's rugby on Saturday. I thought my butt could use the rest and my legs could use a little run. And as I arrived into Phoenix Saturday night, there were fireworks going off, which I totally know were for my benefit... Phoenix was welcoming me :)

Right now, my entire life is sitting in the parking lot outside Suda's condo, waiting to be unpacked and set up in my new home. So, it still sort of feels like I'm on vacation. But, I'm sure that will go away when my alarm goes off tomorrow morning at 4:30 am... Suda and I have a 60 minute run to get in before I get ready for work. And then I report to my first day as a Math teacher. I'm scared to death to be teaching math - talk about a fish out of water. But, I think most of the math department will be going through a few growing pains because of the new computer based system.

Chatty gave me his Algebra I book (Teacher's Edition - Thank GOD!), so I have a bit of studying to do this week before I have to actually start teaching. The good thing about the first week of school, you don't really teach. You let the kids get to know you and you lay down the law. That means I actually have 2 weeks before I really have to know anything about Algebra.

Anyway, the reality of everything is starting to set in. I really did just move 1500 miles and I really do start a new job on Monday. I'm excited about the next chapter in my life while still having my friends and family in Oregon supporting me 100% along the way. I left so fast, that there was no time for tears and no time for long goodbyes. I like it that way.

Epiphanies on the road

This week I rode my motorcycle from Portland to Phoenix in 3 days. Day 1 consisted of an 800 mile ride from Portland to Park City, UT. After that, it was just two "easy" 400 mile days. I rode through the Columbia River Gorge, the Blue Mountains, the Wasatch Mountains, Pink Coral Sands, The Grand Canyon, Cave Dwellers... well, you get the idea. From the seat of the bike, it was beautiful.

When you are on a motorcycle, or any 2-wheeled vehicle for that matter, your senses are soooo much more heightened. You can smell everything, and colors seem to pop all around. But, I had no idea that sitting on my bike for that long would actually test my mental capacity as much as it did.

When I travel, I like to make it all about the "journey" - cheezy, I know. But what's the point of rushing to get somewhere and not enjoying the ride? Yet, that's what I did this time - I didn't stop to smell the roses, I sped through some beautiful scenery without pulling over to take it in. And when it was time to get back on the bike on day 3, I almost cried. I didn't want to ride anymore. I just wanted it to be over. But, there was no way around it, I had to keep going.

That's when I started thinking about that whole "mental toughness" thing. Being able to push yourself when you just want to stop is all about practice. I realized that even though its a completely different situation, mental toughness is still mental toughness. I think I've been waiting for the moment when things would just be easy... but that's not how life is. You have to constantly work at it and you have to PRACTICE being a stronger person. Just like with anything, if you expect to be better, you have to work at it.

So, this week has been all about "ah ha" moments. Life is supposed to be a little hard... but all that means is once you've conquered it, its gonna be so much more rewarding.

COUNT IT!

Well, what do you know? I can add one more moment in my life where I can say I'm proud of myself... 13.1 miles in 2 hours 20 minutes. No, I didn't break any records or come close to the front of the pack, but Suda and I kicked that half marathon's ass.

There were definitely times when I wanted to walk... my legs were tired and there were A LOT of hills. But, every time I thought about walking, I had to remind myself that it was all mental. That if I was ever going to do a 1.2 mile swim, 56 mile bike and 13.1 run, I was going to have to learn to get mentally tough.

Suda was my rock. Without saying a word, she got me through the mental lulls and pulled me through some tough spots. She'd hold out a hand so I would run to her, she'd point out the grandma ahead of us... a lot of the little things.

I sang to Suda as we climbed this huge hill. And then we laughed - this is why she is so great. We smile and we take in the beauty that surrounds us and we let that energy carry us through. Because if you aren't having a little fun and taking in the world around you, what is the point?

And afterwards, as we were driving out to croquet on Sunday, I was telling Suda how lucky we are to be able to do something like this. We are athletic, we are athletes. We're all born with the bodies we were given and sometimes genetics is a bitch. I'm broad shouldered and big legged, with a big belly (I love my belly). But you know what - this body can do things that so many people can't. I can take a late hit from the most of vicious flankers over and over again, I can kick the shit out of a ball and make the opposition back three regret that they underestimated me, I will hit that tiny little gap you thought you could defend, I can swim a mile in 25 minutes, and I can run 13.1 miles without training.

Now, this whole "no training" business has kind of worked out for me so far... but imagine what I could do if I actually stuck to a schedule and allowed my body to get ready for these things. And that's what that whole goal-setting blog was all about. I'm still doing okay with training. 2 weeks into it and I missed Sunday... because I ran 2 1/2 hours on Saturday and decided that mimosa's and croquet sounded like a much better idea ;-). And today I just rode 800 miles on my motorcycle and so I'm going to blow off training... but that's the only time I'm going to make excuses for not sticking to the schedule.

In the words of the Great Eminem...

Cause sometimes you just feel tired.
You feel weak and when you feel weak you feel like you wanna just give up.
But you gotta search within you, you gotta find that inner strength
and just pull that shit out of you and get that motivation to not give up
and not be a quitter, no matter how bad you wanna just fall flat on your face
and collapse.

Till the roof comes off, till the lights go out
Till my legs give out, cant shut my mouth.
Till the smoke clears out, am I high? perhaps...
Ima rip this shit till my bone collapse.


Training log for the last week:

Monday - biked 20 miles, swam 2000 meters with the Portland Tri Club. I started with the slow kids and after I was lapping everyone in my lane, I moved over the medium... FUN and challenging. I like swimming though, so I'm hoping to get a good head start over those damn fast runners come race day.

Tuesday - ran 4 miles, swam 1200 meters.

Wednesday - biked 20 miles

Thursday - ran 3 miles, swam 1000 meters.

Friday - rest day

Saturday - ran 13.1 miles in 2 hours 20 minutes.

Sunday - croquet and mimosas :)

Monday - 800 mile moto ride.

And pics from the Rockin' and Rollin' Weekend in Seattle (complete with Pool Party, Pikes Place Market and Sunday Croquet)

Work it on out...

I very rarely feel proud of myself - in fact, I'm the queen of guilt trips. I can probably count on one hand all the times I was proud of my accomplishments in life. I'm more apt to blame myself for everything. I worry about how I've let people down or how my lack of patience has pushed so many people out of my life or why I can't work a little harder at things in my life. I am constantly filled with regret and remorse and "could of-should of-would of".

I look for reassurance in those around me - I need someone to pat me on the back and say I'm doing okay. I've never been one to find that within myself. That sense of accomplishment comes from my teammates high fiving me, or my coach hugging me after a big win.

I have NEVER, repeat, NEVER been an individual athlete. My whole life I've played team sports. Starting at 4, when I lied about my age so I could play t-ball with the big kids. I've played softball, basketball, volleyball, rugby, even when I did track, it was never about me, but about earning points to win the meet. I trained or worked out purely because I did not want to let my teammates down. Fear of failure has been my motivation throughout most my life - not the need to succeed, but the fear of letting my teammates, my friends down.

And I've never been an endurance athlete - I HATE(D) running with a passion. So much so, that when I was in track (I was thrower - shocking, I know) and we'd have to do our 2 mile runs, I'd fake sick or hurt. I was pathetic. I was scared to run on the open road. The thought of just me and the road gave me such high anxiety that my heart rate would be at 170 before I even started the run.

Then it happened... last summer, my LDBFF convinced me to do a half marathon with her. I was super hesitant. In fact, I laughed at the mere thought of me running for 13.1 miles. I had never ran more than 4 at one time (and that was on a treadmill, in the safety net of the gym). But, the more I thought about it, the more I realized I had labeled myself a "non-runner" and I HATE labels - I hate being pigeonholed. So, it was up to me to break my own stereotype I had created for myself. I was going to do it.

And so for 8 weeks, I ran. I started off with 3 miles - up the road and back. I thought I was going to die. I didn't have any music and it was dark, cold and rainy. Not the best way to start off this new experiment. But the next day, I popped my earbuds in and headed out for another run. And then each day after that I kept going.

People talk about the "runner's high"... I have yet to experience that. I know I am not built to run - I'm a big girl. My knees hurt the entire time, my back aches and I sweat like race horse. Its just not a pretty sight. But the point is, I did it. I ran my first half marathon in January - my time wasn't stellar, but I did it. When I crossed the finish line, I looked around desparately for someone to hug me and tell me how great I did... but there was no one there. For 2 hours I wandered around trying to find someone to congratulate me. I should have been on cloud 9, but instead, I sat down on the ashpalt and I cried. It was then that I realized it was just me. I needed to be proud of myself for doing this. I needed to find it within myself to congratulate me and hug me and love me because no one else was going to.

Emotionally, mentally, physically, this has been a tough week for me. I've been doing too much reminiscing about the past and that is a sure fire way to put me in a funk. But then I go for a bike ride, or a swim or even (gasp!) a run and things seem to feel better for awhile. Exercise has never been a release for me... eating is usually my go-to when I'm feeling down. But I'm noticing that when I do summons up the energy to go for a swim in the Willamette, or plant my sore ass on my bike for another long ride, or convince my head not to walk during my 8 mile run, after I'm done, I feel happy, energized, proud of myself.

So, there you have it - perhaps this is the dawn of a new era for me. I'm not saying I love running, but I don't hate it anymore. And maybe, just maybe, if I can keep up this training, I might actually find that elusive "runner's high".

5th Annual Roselawn Carnival Recap

Another successful Roselawn Carnival put on by Sherri Pie and Erin.15 years from now, when Sherri is hosting the 20th Annual Carnival in the middle of the Nevada desert and tickets are sold out months in advance, I will be proud to say I was there when it all began (sort of). I missed the 1st Annual Carnival, (don't ask, lame excuse) but I assure you, it is the first and only time I'll miss out on this backyard party.

The weather held up and we only experienced a couple light sprinkles, which seemed appropriate given the "Depression Era" theme for this year. New to Carnival this year was the Last Regiment of Syncopated Drummers who performed the Opening Ceremony Parade down Roselawn St all the way to 9th Ave (for those of you not familiar with Sherri Pie's street - its about 50 yards from her house to 9th Ave or the equivalent of 3 house lots.) Traffic was diverted as we turned around and headed back to Sherri's house. The drumline then played for another 5 minutes in the open lot next to thee midway. The entire neighborhood was out to enjoy the show. Sherri does a great job of including everyone in the fesitivities.

After the parade, the Strongmen were getting themselves prepped for the big competition. The first event was the ever-popular "spin-around-a-bat-and-run-with-a-tire". The first contestant spun around 5 times and was not phased at all... so we changed the rules and made everyone spin 10 times. I could watch this all day long. Nothing is more funny then watching grown men stumble sideways while carrying a tire down to a doggie bed. I'm not sure what was better though - watching Murray take a header face first into the grass, or tight-pants guy fall over while still spinning. After the 1st competition, it was on to Round 2, which consisted of them answering some question about the economy or something like that and then having to run to the doggie bed. This is when we rugby girls ran "interference". Puddles did some tackling, Babb belly bounced them, I grabbed tight pants and overalls, but none of that was enough to stop Jan Ledford from breaking through and claiming the Strongman Cup for 2009.

Grey returned for another mesmerizing magic show on the big stage. Dick Dickman was a great assistant as he oooh'd and awwww'd the crowd. Unfortunately, Kent was unable to make it this year, so there was no one to mess with on stage.

Next up on the agenda was the ever popular Carnie Queen competition. Reigning Crown holder was Lindsey Babb - who last year, did some pushups and situps while smoking a cigarette and chugging a beer.... oh, and did I mention she was 10 months pregnant? There was some TOUGH competition this year: Grapes of Wrath bible reading, Evil Ventriloquist, Jess the Womanizer, Murial's Burlesque show, The Sword Swallower, Guy who played the Accordian... but none of that could compare to Babb's next trick... drinking her beer off her pregnant belly, while her hands were full with her feetless/handless baby. Babb kept her crown and will surely be back next year, pregnant again and ready to defend her title.

There was a fire dancer, (but I couldn't get any good pics of that - too engrossed in the show), there was a tug-of-war, the deep frier, the kissing booth ($10 if you want to motorboat -- give or receive), another pie'ing, the burning of the Christmas tree, bobbing for PBR's, and all sorts of other odd's and end's which make the Roselawn Carnival the best backyard party you will ever go to. Honestly, this blog SUCKS in doing the Carnival justice, so next time, just get here and experience it all for yourselves...

At any rate, here's the pics of the 5th Annual Roselawn Carnival

Oh, and just because I said I was going to use this blog as a way to keep myself honest about training, here's what I did over the last few days:

Thursday 6/23 - Biked 17 miles and swan 1300 meters in the Willamette River - WTF!?!? Ummm, last time I was in the Willamette, I was 16 years old and ended up with a rash all over my arms and legs... and you should know that the swim club has a disclaimer that states "Open water swims will be cancelled when there has been rain within a 48-hour period"... why, you might ask? Because all of Portland's finest sewage dumps straight into the Willamette when it rains.

Friday - this is technically supposed to be my "rest day" but because I have a 1/2 marathon coming up in a week, I decided to run - but just 3 miles. Then I took the nephews to the water park and played in the surf for a couple hours.

Saturday - pre-Carnival, ran 8.5 miles. Wanted to die at 2 miles, but around 5 miles, I was actually enjoying the run, aside from the super sketchy section of the trail, where its completely wooded and dark... and this homeless guy decided to duck up into the trees when he saw me coming. I grabbed a handful of rocks and kept them in my hand for about 10 minutes.

Sunday - 21 mile bike ride. A bit hungover from the Carnival, but busted it out in under an hour and a half. Which, for me, was a pretty big accomplishment. I might remind you that I am riding a 13 year old Gary Fisher mountain bike, where the front derailer only works when it feels like it, so I'm usually stuck on the big ring.

It's All About Fuji

I’ve been sitting here for awhile, trying to think about what I should write about this week… do I just give you the standard recap of my oh-so-exciting weekend? Or maybe another pity party blog that borders on T.M.I.? Sometimes I think that the only reason why I blog is so that a few people will say “WOW, you have a great life!”

I have a friend who tells me that “It’s all about Fuji”… and maybe he’s right. Maybe the only reason I write this blog or take all these pictures is to let everyone know how great my life is. Acknowledge me! Pay attention to me! Someone tell me that I’m doing it okay! Holy childhood issues Batman…

If you know me at all, you know that I’m all over the place with my life. I never really stick to any decisions. I don’t set goals. In fact, I’m afraid to set goals. Why? Because I know I can’t commit to anything. I’m wishy-washy at best.

Last week I was watching the Ford Ironman Hawaii re-cap. At 10:30 pm, I was in tears, watching stories of these amazing athletes who have sacrificed so much to complete this one thing. They were digging deeper then you think is humanly possible. They pushed their minds and their bodies to edge and were so incredibly proud of themselves as they crossed the finish line. Family members, friends, strangers were all in tears as they hugged each other.

Do you know I actually told someone that they shouldn’t do an Ironman because of all the other things they could be missing out on for the year it took to train? How shitty of a friend am I?!?! Seriously – I said to not do something that is described by everyone who has done it as “the best day of my life”. Don’t see what your body and mind are capable of doing because you might miss out on something better. That’s the selfish part of me coming out again. I think I was more jealous that there would be less time to spend with me and more time to be spending doing something amazing for themselves. I am a bad friend.

Anyway, there I was, sitting on the couch, in tears for several reasons... Then I got to thinking about how easy things have always come to me and how I’ve never had to work hard at anything before in my life. I generally do well the first time I try something and everyone is impressed… but I never get better then average, because once things do get difficult I cut my losses and call it a day. See, if you never set a goal, you never have to worry about failing.

I think its time to change that. I guess if I’m going to set my first goals, I might as well go big and proclaim it on the World Wide Web. So, here it is -- October 25, 2009 is the SOMA Half Ironman. I’m doing it.

I know it’s only a half, but I’m not stupid either :-)

Just one of the guys?

Going back as long as I can remember I've always been one of the boys. I'm not sure when I became a tomboy... My step-sister, Paula, is the one who convinced me that short hair was way better then long, that dolls were stupid and skateboards were cool, that my pink banana seat bike was for girlie girls and we were NOT girlie girls (I really loved that bike though).

Don't get me wrong, being one of the guys is great. I don't mind getting dirty, I like sports, I can drink beer with the best of them... I LIKE being laid back enough that the guys want me around. But please do remember that I am a girl and I do have feelings and some things actually do offend me. I believe in true love and I believe in monogamy and I believe that, IF you really loved her, you wouldn't be talking so much shit. I like dresses too, and make-up and pretty things...

Somewhere along the way being a tomboy became my defense. When I feel nervous, unsure of myself or uncomfortable, I will immediately go to "tough-girl" mode. I can tell crude jokes and make fun of ugly girls and arm wrestle with the sissy boys. I'll one-up you in a chugging contest and burp louder then 1/2 the bar. But every time I go in to that mode, I hate it. I hate feeling the need to be masculine in order to "hang" with the boys - I want to be a part of the crowd, but I want to be different too. I want my feminine side to show.

I know that, because of my lifestyle, finding someone to share my life with is going to be nearly impossible. My therapist tells me that all the time..."Slow down. Quit feeling the need to be on the go all the time. And stop being one of the guys. Just be you." The scary thing is, at this point - I still don't know who "ME" is. Am I the adventurer who picks up and goes whenever I feel like it... or is that me just running away? Am I the tomboy who's doomed to be just one of the guys... but never the guys' girl? Am I the independent strong woman who doesn't need anyone... yet so desperately just wants someone to love her?

I guess growing up doesn't have an age limit...

Back from the Bitchin' Baja 500

I just got back from the Baja 500 and I'm still in a bit of a haze... so this may not be the most exciting blog. But, in a nutshell, it was another great experience.

Carlson, Jefe, Rasp and I arrived in Ensenada around 9 pm on Wednesday, but the Dragonfire crew was still out pre-running the east coast part of the course. So, we headed out for some tacos and beers while we waited for them to get back (mmmmm, Mexican tacos - I love 'em). I had the fortunate luck of sharing a SINGLE bed that night... in a room with 2 loud snorers... but I guess that was better then sleeping on the floor. Rasp and Erik were out pretty late, so all-in-all I think most of us got very little sleep that night.

The guys got up early on Thursday to pre-run ~300 miles of the course. I must say, Rasp was looking quite sharp in his tube top flack jacket and Carlson's white boots were very Playboy'ish. Jack told me "We should be back by early afternoon"... one glowing chode later, and they rolled in after 8 pm. In the meanwhile, I hung out with Todd and Hanz as they got the 1 car and Teryx ready for the race. By some really good luck, Todd was able to get both cars inspected by tech so we didn't have to go through Contigency on Friday (which amounts to hours and hours of pushing the cars through the maze of people and vendors... but its actually kind of fun).

After the cars were made "official" Todd said it was time to pre-run of the start of the race. So, I jumped in the back of the pre-runner... basically this is the puke seat. My heart must have been beating at about 190 bpm the entire time. We only got up to about 60 mph but that was enough for me! We were bouncing off rocks, blasting through 3 feet deep ruts - IT WAS AWESOME!! Well, awesome until 45 minutes into it, when I felt like I was going to throw up. Just as I was desperately looking for a puking spot, we pulled off the course and on to a gravel road. I barely managed to keep it all down. We stopped at Horsepower Ranch for a couple beers, which was just enough time for me to get my stomach settled. As we pulled out of the ranch, the sun was just starting to set over the desert hills of the Baja... a beautiful end to a great day.

Friday morning we slept in a little and then made our way to Contingency so we could see all the other race cars, trucks and motorcycles. This place is a total zoo. Grown men pushing kids out of the way for a sticker... scantily clad "models"... guys trying to one-up each other... this is machismo at its finest. (sorry for cutting your head off in this pic Rasp... but you're kind of a giant and Jack's arms can only reach so far)
We rolled back to the hotel to continue preparations on the cars. But, at some point I was convinced to take Carlson's bike out for a spin (when am I going to stop trying to be the cool kid and just say no?). To spare you all the details, it took 5 minutes to get the bike moving because I kept stalling it, then it died on me 10 minutes into my "ride" because the fuel was off, finally I ran into a hole and Fuji'd (formerly known as Superman'ing) myself over the handlebars, bashing my knee and thigh on the handlebars as I flew over. This is what I get for trying to hang with the boys.

Anyhoo, I will also spare you the details of the last minute scramble to get the cars ready, all the tires pumped, chase vehicles loaded up, etc... I was getting major anxiety just watching everyone run around. But, we finally made it to team dinner at Horsepower Ranch around 9 that night and then right back to the houses so everyone could get a good night sleep before the race.

We woke up early to see the start of the motorcycles at 6:30 am. They give the bikes a 3 hours head start before they send the trucks/cars so the trucks don't run over the bikes (but, if you're too slow, the trucks will catch up to the bikes and then its a mad scramble to get the hell out of the way so they don't crush you). After the bikes were done, we went back to the hotel to make any last minute adjustments on the cars. But, they were pretty much good to go. Now it was just sitting and waiting for the start.

9:30 am was finally go time! We followed the 1 car to the staging area and waited as the trophy trucks took off. Class 1 cars were next. I ran down to the start line to get pictures and videos of the start. It was so cool to see them tear around the corner coming inches from all the spectators. Then, we headed back to the staging area to push Reid in the UTV to the finish line. That little UTV is a crowd favorite. Everyone was checking it out and taking their picture next to it. But, just as the UTV was supposed to start, someone at tech told them that the light was not attached correctly, so it was a mad scramble to get it fixed to start the race. I guess Reid decided to give the rest of the cars in the class a 10 minute head start.

The bad side to the Baja is that the entire course is open to the public... which means that jackasses can drive their cars anywhere they went. As we were heading to our first pit at Race Mile 290 the first "code red" came over the radio. A motorcycle had hit head on with a local who was driving up the course about 3 miles from our pit area. We arrived just as a helicopter was landing to get the rider. I saw them take the rider from the ambulance and load him in the helicopter... but the helicopter turned off its engine persumably because they were trying to recucitate the rider. We found out later that he did not survive.

We set up our sweet couch and shaded tent, then waited for the first trophy trucks to make their way through. We had killer seats to watch all the vehicles come bombing down the and go flying by us at 90+ mph. When the Dragonfire car came through at 4:30 or so, they were in 7th place (they started 11th) and didn't need anything, so they just gave us the thumbs up and flew by. We packed up the truck and headed to the Race Mile 350. We only waited 15 minutes or so before we saw them come down the mountain. This time, they were in 5th place!

This time they stopped (note: from this point on we will only refer to this pit stop as "The Gatorade Incident")... My only job is to make sure these guys are hydrated and fed when they need it... but I was up at the corner flagging them down so I wasn't able to get everything ready. All they wanted was water, and we didn't have that ready, so they got Gatorade. The problem was, the bottles still had the safety seal. So, when they went to drink them, nothing came out. That's when Jeff popped it with his knuckle and sprayed it all over Jack's eyes and helmet. Oops. Jack gave us a disapproving look and it felt like we had let them down... BUT, they pulled out and were back on the course, without losing their place -- I call that a success.

Back to RM 290 to wait for Hanz and the UTV to come through. We had A LOT of time to kill, so Rasp used Magnus's rock to set up the horseshoe pit in the grape vineyard. Erik showed me how to throw and then the beat-down was on! Did you know that Carlson and I always win at horseshoe's when we go to the Baja 500? Well, we do... and by "win" I mean we kicked their ass by 12 points :-)

At some point, we realized that Rasp had a cell phone signal out in the middle of nowhere, so we called Jeff's brother in Utah to get updates. All the vehicles are hooked up with GPS tracking, so you can follow the race in live time. Jeff's brother was able to get online and tell us exactly where Car #1803 was... stopped at RM 190 for 3 hours. Now it was just a guessing game... when would Hanz come through? WOULD Hanz come through? how long do we wait? Just as we were thinking about packing up, we got word that they were moving again.

Here's the sad part... the next text we got was "Todd and Jack stopped at RM 423... should have stopped at 420". WHAT!?!? The Class 1 car was dead less then 10 miles from the finish line - and they had made it all the way up the 3rd place before they died. We were all gutted. Weatherman said it was a blown engine, but we found out later that they were rammed by Weatherman's son and that's what killed the engine. Todd said he could see the finish line from the top of the hill. Talk about a heartbreaker!

Then we got another text that Car #1803 was stopped again at RM 223. They'd only made it 30 miles! Were they ever going to make it to us? We decided to just wait it out until we got official word. Fortunately, they were able to fix whatever was wrong and get it back on the course. Hanz finally got to us just before midnight. Kevin and Darren had followed Hanz for part of the race, so they were just behind him when he pulled in to our pit. Hanz looked exhausted. He had been up since 5 am and was chasing the car before he even got in to drive it. We gave him some water and a poptart then sent him on his way.

We packed up and headed to RM 350, again... only this time, we didn't know what we could actually do to support Hanz. Besides, Kevin and Darren were right behind us, and Darren is the mechanic of the group... it was at this point that we decided to ditch those guys and head back to the hotel. We got back to hotel, expecting it to be empty, but Jim was able to tow Todd and Jack back home before we arrived. They were fast asleep by the time we got there at 2 am. I took a quick shower then went to bed. At this point, we had no idea if Hanz had finished or not.

Come to find out, Hanz finished at 6 am and won his class. I'm pretty sure there were only two cars that actually finished in that class. So, overall a successful outing for the UTV... and thiiiiisssss close for the Class 1 car. Another super fun weekend with a great group of guys. I love hanging out with this crew.

Well done boys!! Thanks for letting me come along for the ride and I'm totally looking forward to the next one!!!

Here's all the pics and videos: 2009 Baja 500 - Dragonfire Racing Car #111 and #1803

Ohhhh lord, take me down to Mexico, Rosarito, Baja California...

7 months ago, if you would have asked me what "Off-Road Racing" was, I would have said something along the lines of "Um... racing that isn't on a road?". But after the Baja 1000 in November, I can tell you it is SOOOOO much more then racing that isn't on a road. It is one of the best adrenaline rides of your life. Words can't describe what its like to first hear a trophy truck bombing down a mountain... then seeing it light up the night sky... feeling the pounding in your chest as it gets closer.... and finally, nearly peeing your pants when they come flying by 5 feet away from you going what seems like 1000 miles an hour.

And that's just the trophy trucks... how about being on a chase team for a bad ass who solo'd the 1000 mile race on a motorcycle and finished 3rd in 19:30 hours. The pit crew was just a rag-tag group of 3 -- one hung over, one working on a buzz and one rookie. Yet, we made it to every pit stop, did what needed to be done and made sure the Ironman was able to push on. That was an incredible experience.

So this weekend, I head down again to be a part the Dragonfire team (even if my only job is to take pictures and make sure the food is ready). If you're interested, I think you can follow Weatherman (the dude the updates everyone on the race) or try this link for live tracking....

Class 1 car #111
Trophy Truck #2
Sport UTV #1803

Family Moto Time

When I bought my motorcycle in March, I knew it wouldn't be long before my brother-in-law got one too. He's BIG into motocross and rides his dirt bike any and every chance he gets. He and my sister took my bike out for a spin a couple weeks ago and my sister was hooked (much like I was after the Mexico Road Trip). After that, it took all of 1.5 weeks before they bought one of their own - a 2005 Honda Interceptor. Now, my Dad, on the other hand, has had the same Honda Goldwing for as long as I can remember. He keeps talking about getting a new one, but we all know that as long as this one is running, he's sticking with it.

So, this Saturday, with the sun in our faces, we all ventured out for our first family outing on the motorcycles. The destination was the Oregon coast to visit my step-sisters who live in Gearhart and Warrenton. We were a rag-tag looking motorcycle gang... but a gang we were none-the-less. I loved it. This is the first time I've ridden with other people for any length of time (my uncle Vern cruised with me for about 15 minutes about a month ago, but thats about it) and it was so much fun!

If you want to ride, let me know!!! Baja California? Mexico? Belize? Alaska? Coast to Coast?

Here's the gang:

We didn't take very many pictures, but there's a couple more here from Family Moto Ride.