I teach, therefore I am.

A couple months ago, I started applying for teaching jobs in AZ. And so far, I've gotten ONE, count that ONE call back. The job market in the Phoenix area sucks. They just laid off like 400 teachers and this is the time I pick to move. Not one of my best moves, but I can't wait any longer. I don't think I can survive another Portland winter... 32 years of it is enough (I didn't move to Portland until I was 2 1/2)

Before I started teaching, work was never that important to me. I mean, I worked, don't get me wrong, I just didn't really care where. I worked to play. That's about all it was to me. But now, its a whole different game. I love my job. I love being at the high school and I actually wake up every day, excited to go to work. And the thing is, I'm good at it. I get to teach about social injustice and current events and inequality and human rights and all that good stuff. My kids walk away from my class in June wanting to do more to help those who can't help themselves. They start the year, afraid to say what they think, and they end the year confident in their opinions and proud to take a stand.

So, I had a phone interview yesterday for a math position at an alternative school in Tempe. I would be perfect for this job. Granted, its math, something I don't LOVE teaching, but I am good at it. I know how to teach to kids with behavior issues, the "bad" kids, the slower kids. For some reason, those are the ones that love me the most. Could be that they see a little of themselves in me, I don't know.

Having worked in the career consulting field before, I know that a phone interview sucks. The principal wasn't available for the interview (he was "behind" with work), so the Math Dept. head interviewed me. And I was the last one they interviewed - also not a good sign. Oh, and I haven't taught math since my student teaching. Yeah, all these point to a low probability of me actually getting the job.

BUT, I am a great interviewer and I think I nailed all the questions she had for me. If I don't get this job, I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm still moving, but I'll be leaving a great job, in a school where I have so much freedom and am loved by students and staff...

So, keep your fingers crossed, send out good energy and let's hope the stars align... the idea of not teaching just kills me.

Strong, Independent Woman... right?

I like to consider myself a very strong, independent woman. I like the freedom of being able to pick up and go whenever I want. I like having no one to answer to and no one telling me I shouldn't or can't do something. This has opened a lot of doors for me. Traveling the world, seeing things most can never imagine, meeting new people...

But sometimes, I really wish I had someone to share these adventures with. Someone with that same sense of life. Occasionally, I've had people along for the ride and it has been AWESOME and other times, it makes you realize that just because you're great friends, doesn't mean you were meant to travel together. It's a very fine line.

The first time I traveled, I went with one of my best friends. It was 1999 and we were backpacking Europe for 2 months. I clearly remember getting on that plane and being scared to death about what the next 2 months were going to hold. I cried as I said my goodbyes, I was so nervous that I almost threw up. Marna and Scott seemed to be holding together much better. When we stepped off that plane in Rome, I thought I was going to pass out. The airport was packed, people were rushing me all over, speaking jibber-jabber, drug dogs sniffed my bags. I had zero confidence that I was going to survive this adventure.

7 weeks into the trip, we decided to part ways and go on our own. I only last 2 days on my own. I re-booked my flight and headed back Portland. Looking back on that whole trip, I never ventured outside my comfort zone. I was super shy, closed off, judgmental. Can you imagine me SHY?!?!? Tis true. In fact, I don't think I really got comfortable with myself and meeting new people until I hit 30. This person that most of you know today, is a product of a LOT of trial and error.

So fast forward to 2009 and this is what I do now. I travel alone, I do my thing, I see the world. Now, its almost expected by my friends and family that I go it alone. If no one wants to come, then I'll still go. But I feel like there's something missing. I want to see something awesome and turn to someone and say "Did you see that?!?!". I want to experience the beauty of the world with someone by my side.

Anyway, this weekend I took my motorcycle down Hwy 101 and just cruised. I saw some really cool stuff, but when I turned to say "THIS IS SO COOL!!!", it was just me... Is this the worse thing in the world? Of course not. But it does make me reconsider what I'm doing and why... Until I figure that I out, I keep moving forward, adventuring and staying busy with or without a buddy.

Nostalgia at its finest

I'm going through a huge period of change in my life: the end of the school year, moving 1500 miles, the uncertainty of a job, letting go, etc... and so I got to thinking about everything I've done in this past year. Sometimes I get nostalgic... okay, scratch that - MOST of the time I'm nostalgic. I love looking at pictures. Your pictures, my pictures, your friends pictures. And I take a lot of them - shocking, I know - but, when I look back at my pics, it just reminds me of how much I have to be thankful for.

I have no regrets whatsoever about my life as it is today - May 21, 2009. It's not to say there hasn't been some rough spots along the way, but the ups have FAR outweighed the downs.

Oh, and its worth noting that if I emailed this to you, its because you are a part of my memories and without you, my adventures are nothing.

So here you go, the year (give or take) in review...

March 2008: Champagne Classic in San Diego and my first encounter with the Lady Blues. Who knew that Suda and I would become LDBFF's...

March 2008: Hong Kong 7's. Johnny Hambone was the best host ever and how great is it that we made it on the Jumbo-Tron no less then 10 times on Sunday!

April 2008: Maggotfest in Missoula MT... oh boy. SCORTSU was a match made in heaven. Best Play on the Pitch.

May 2008: Sasquatch Music Festival in the Gorge. 2 days of Michael Franti, Modest Mouse, Death Cab for Cutie, The Cure.


June 2008: Mexico Road Trip. 3000 miles on the back of BMW R1150GS. I'm not sure if life gets better than this...


June 2008 - August 2008: Yelapa, MX. Sometimes it doesn't even seem real...
Surfing with Suda in Sayulita


Spending hours reading with Canela at my feet

Beach time with Amber & Brandini

5 days of SCUBA diving with Rene, Martin, Franco, Pollo & Adrienne


June 2008: Suisun Valley, CA - Suzy and Kai FINALLY get married. Long time coming. Beautiful wedding, fun night!


August 2008: Last days of summer in AZ and an Arizona Road Trip. Another 500 miles on the GS through Prescott, Sedona, and Flagstaff. Great way to end the summer

September 2008 - October 2008: OTD. ORSU Total Domination. From San Fran to Seattle to St. Louis and finishing 9th in the nation.


November 2008: 2008 Baja 1000. Ensenada, MX. AMAZING experience to be on a chase team for a solo Motorcycle Iron Rider who placed 3rd.

December 2008: Dirty's Merkins make their official 15's debut and take home the medal at the Wild West Fest.

December 2008 - January 2009: Winter Road Trip - just me and the Lezterra

Yosemite

Death Valley

Glamis Sand Dunes

Joshua Tree

Tempe, AZ


January 2009: PF Chang Rock-n-Roll Half Marathon in Phoenix, AZ. My first 13.1 miler. Never thought I'd ever do something like this...

February 2009: Mini-Mexico Road trip. Add 700 more miles on the back of the GS. This time to Yuma, El Golfo and Rocky Point.


February 2009: IRB 7's in San Diego.

March 2009: Bartlett Lake Triathlon. Suda takes 1st place, I take 2nd place in the Athena Division for our first ever triathlon.

March 2009: Spring Break in AZ -
Spring training with Rosey

My first motorcycle. BEAUTIFUL.


April 2009: Terrible's 250 in Primm, NV. This time I was stationed at Pit #2 for the Dragonfire Class 1 car. LOVE IT!


April 2009: McDowell Mountain Music Festival in Scottsdale, AZ. VIP passes for Suda and I. 2 hours of Michael Franti.

May 2009: Maggotfest revisited. Dirty's Merkins remain undefeated. 'nuf said.

May 2009: Tempe Int'l Triathlon. Another medal for Suda and I (or rather, a marble box). Suda takes 2nd, I take 3rd and Quickdraw takes 4th in the Athena division.

STAY TUNED for more adventures!!

Another reminder of how amazing life is

**Warning - this is a long blog... just so you know what you're getting yourself into :-)**

On a KICK ASS NOTE:
Pics from the Triathlon are here: Tempe Int'l Triathlon

Suda, Quick Draw and I KICKED ASS in our triathlon this weekend. We all entered the Athena Division (which is the big kids class - over 150 lbs) - Suda took 2nd place with a time of 1 hour 21 minutes, I took 3rd with a time 1 hour 24 minutes and Quick Draw took 4th with a time of 1 hour 27 minutes. WOOT WOOT!!

Here's a quick play-by-play of the race...
The swim - 400 meters. No problem - in and out of the water in about 11 minutes. I did get kicked in the head a couple times which pushed my face unexpectedly into the water. That's the only thing I hate about the swim - getting dunked. But, considering I have not swam in about 6 weeks, I was pretty happy with my time.

The bike - 12.4 miles. This is the only event that I "trained" for. And by training, I mean I did 3 spin classes. But, it felt good too - I did it in about 40 minutes. Kessans let me borrow her bike again - THANKS SARAH! The route was pretty flat and I was actually able to pass a few people on this segment. Although, there was a point, about halfway in to the bike, where I could totally feel the effects of too much alcohol from Friday night (NOTE TO SELF: heavy drinking 2 days before is not good pre-race fuel). All-in-all, the bike is probably the strongest event for me.

The run - 3.1 miles. This was by far the hardest part of the race. It was about 8:00 am when I started the run and it felt like it was 100 degrees. I was dying from the heat and dehydration. I was only in 1/2 mile when I almost gave up and started walking. But, just as those thoughts were going through my head, I realized there was someone biking next to me - my immediate reaction was to be annoyed... until I noticed it was Jack. This was a really good morale booster. He road with me for about 2 miles and it totally helped get me through the run. I finished that segment in 34 minutes. UGH. 11 min miles is embarrassing, but I guess this is why you're supposed to train for these events.

Afterwards, Team F.S.T. (Me, Suda, Erik & Mel) headed to Macayo's for free appetizers and to collect our medals... which turned out to be marble boxes made in Pakistan. Actually, pretty cute little awards. Lots of fun was had with my box later that evening :-)

Honestly, I couldn't believe how well Suda and I did. We really need to start training for these things because if we're doing this well without, I can only imagine what we could do if we just invested some time into it. So, we're shooting for the Mountain Man Triathlon in 2 months to be our first Olympic Distance (1500m swim, 40k bike and 10k run)... stay tuned to see if that really happens.

On a SOCIAL note:
Pics from out and about are here: AZ Antics

I love AZ. I really do. Friday night, my flight came in at 9:45 - Rosey and Kenny picked me up and took me out on the town for my birthday. This, of course did NOT help the triathlon on Sunday, but I had a blast. Suda, Chelsea, Tina and Simon all met us out for a super fun time! Kenny and I traded shirts halfway through the night, Suda borrowed a beer from a wasted couple who were making out in front of everyone, Rosey prepared a fantastic meal at 3:00 am (but forgot about the pizza in the oven - oops)... yeah, good times had by all.

Saturday was spent getting set-up for the race and recovering from the night before. We met Mel and Erik at the Lake to set up our bikes, register and pick up our packets. Suda and I went back to her place and took a much needed 2 hour nap. Then, woke up, and headed to dinner. Jack met us out for a good carb-loading pre-race meal at a super cute restaurant in Phoenix. I think I was asleep by 9:30.

Sunday Rudy met us at Macayo's for the awards and "one" margarita, because he had lots of studying to do. Except one turned into two (and a half, thanks to the dead bug in his drink) margaritas, which turned into a pool party at Jack's house. Kessans showed up after her hike and joined us in the pool. We proceeded to drink The Champagne of Beers, play with the turtle and just laugh into the wee hours of the night. I spent 6 straight hours in the pool, only getting out to relieve myself and take incriminating pictures of the turtle. A great way to end a great day.

On a personal note (it gets kind of heavy here, so you can stop reading if you want):

I tend to wear my emotions and my feelings on my sleeve for all the world to see. Probably not the best way to be, but it is me. Most of you who read this blog will know what I'm talking about when I say it was time, and Monday I finally said goodbye. This is one of the hardest decisions I have ever made. I've never said goodbye to someone that I loved so much. We didn't fight, we always laughed and we just got along really well. But it wasn't enough for me to be someone's side project -- I deserve to be someone's everything.

Maybe part of the sadness last week was because I knew this was coming. Things were going really well... yet something deep down told me that it wasn't right. I've spent the last year having some of the best times of my life, but it was always followed up with some intense lows. I deserve better and I know that there is someone who is going to give me a real chance... they're going to just love me for me. There is someone who's going to think I'm worth the risk and won't take me for granted. But, that doesn't mean that this doesn't hurt real bad. I don't know when I've ever felt so defeated or broken. I should have been smarter.

There's a reason for everything and everyone that enters your life. Because of this experience, I have learned a lot about myself and I have grown so much in the past year - and for that, I am eternally grateful. So, I'm ready to start healing and moving forward in a much more positive direction.

My life is good and I know it. I have great friends and a wonderful sister who believe in me. If this is the only negative in my life, then it ain't too bad... there are definitely more smiles on the way.

Happy birthday to me...

For the first time in my life, I'm actually not stoked about a birthday. For no apparent reason, every time I think about my birthday, I start to get all emotional. Its the weirdest thing. If you know me at all, you know that I'm not one to really get sad or sappy, but it is hitting me like a ton of bricks right now. BLAH.

But, this weekend I'm going to hang out with my LDBFF (Long Distance Best Friend Forever) - Suda. We're going to do another Triathlon in which we did not train for. Our bad habits were so positively reinforced that we figured it would work for us again...

I'm looking forward to hanging out in the sun with one of my favorite peeps. We have the best times together and I swear, she and I are sisters from another mother... wait, that doesn't sound as good, but you get the idea. ;-)

Anyway, thanks to everyone who read their Facebook notifications that told them it was my birthday. :-)

Oh, and stupid Mercury is in retrograde again...

Mom's day motorcyclin'

This was my first weekend at home in a month... and I was totally looking forward to being lazy and doing absolutely nothing. This is my idea of lazy:

Friday night, Reily had his spring concert at the school - holy crap, it was so friggin cute! They did a tribute to the USA and sang all sorts of patriotic songs. It was ridiculous. Seriously, even if you don't have kids, you should find a way to go see something like this (try not to look too creeper-like). It just makes you smile the entire time and walk away feeling like everything is good in the world. I was teary-eyed throughout the whole performance and grinning ear to ear.

Reily is on the top row, 3rd from the left (with the shaggy blond hair):


Saturday I woke up to a BEAUTIFUL sunny day in Oregon... I went to a spin class at 8:30 (rather then ride my bike outside, in the sun - I know, I'm stupid). BUT, by the time I was done with class, it was warming up to a balmy 60 degrees. I decided to take the motorcycle for a spin. And what better then to ride to the coast for some clam chowder. It was such a great ride! I made it to Lincoln City around 2:30 pm - stopped at McMenamin's for some iced tea and clam chowder - then turned around and went back home.



I did about 250 miles in about 4 hours... I'm trying to get my butt ready for a little Mexico/Baja road trip, but I've got a long way to go to be ready for that. If I do the trip, its going to be more like 400-500 mile days. When we did it last summer I was on the back of the bike and my butt was okay, but I have a feeling its A LOT different when you're the one driving.

Also, after much debate, and a conversation with my motorcycle guru, I sort of impulse bought a riding jacket and gloves (which, according the guy at the bike shop, only makes me look a little gay).

I got back to Gresham just in time to watch Reily's t-ball game with the family. It was an exhilerating 5 innings which ended in a tie - Yankees 45, Orange Team 45. Yes, you read that right. One of the great things about t-ball... everyone hits, everyone scores, every inning.

Sunday was spent ref'ing the U23 Grizzlies Probables vs Possibles rugby game in the morning, then riding my bike out to The Dalles for Mother's Day brunch with the family. On the way back home, my uncle Vern decided to ride back part of the way with me. His bike totally dwarfs mine - he just bought at brand new Honda Gold Wing. Its REAL fancy. Mine is still prettier though :-)

All-in-all, it was another great weekend.

My sister got some pretty cool shots of me riding home from The Dalles - ACTION SHOTS!

It was a really gorgeous ride too... I love the gorge.
Extreme close-up... but you can see me smiling w/my new coat (gay?)

I like this pic because you can see Kim smiling in the rear-view mirror

Marvelous Merkins at Maggotfest

Wowza... that's all I can say about my 7th (?) Maggotfest. As always, the 'fest lived up to all expectations. The Merkins are like a dream come true. The weather was beautiful. The rugby was great. It was just as it should be. A big thanks to Diana for organizing this and for making rugby soooo much fun. I've been playing rugby with Dirty since 1995 and have a feeling I'll be playing with her and the Merkins for another 15 years.


A few highlights of my weekend:

• We won all of our games (not that it matters, but who likes losing?). The only try scored against us was in the last game on Sunday, when Terri spilled her beer tackling one of the NDSU girls. The ref awarded them a penalty try.
• That Guy's motorcycle (Its a little 90 - and not meant for 2!)
• I got brought up on charges during The Highwaymen's Kangaroo Court as a representative of Dirty's Merkins... and I'd rather not tell you what I had to do.
• Half of my merkin was torn off by a random dog who thought it was a chew toy - after tugging with the puppins for a few seconds, she finally let go and I got my merkin back (not even joking - see pic).

Here's a few of the "tame" pics:

The Carebear's from Eastside were my most favorite outfits by far.


Flowbee was Evil Knievel Carebear...

ORSU ladies represented well as the traveling circus. San Juanita went above and beyond as the Centar:


There are way too many stories for me to even begin (and most are not kid friendly), so if you want to know the details, just ask...

Merkins record so far: 8-0

Here's the rest of the pics from the weekend: Dirty's Merkin-a-licous Maggotfest 2009