Dust In The Wind

*WARNING* If you are a religious person, you may not want to read this. I'm not challenging your beliefs, nor am I looking for someone to "guide me", I'm just doing my usual external processing... so please, don't take it personally.

I'm not a religious person... my parents were not overly religious, so it was never pushed on me. When I was in high school, I went to Younglife and youth group, not because I had this burning desire to follow God, but because it was something to do after school with my friends. Along the way, I learned quite a bit about Christianity and at the time, it helped give me answers to ideas and thoughts that I couldn't grasp in my head. Because, when you're younger, its really hard to accept the idea that when you die, that's it. Even as an adult, its a concept I struggle to understand.

As I grew up and was exposed to more and more information about the church, I learned that organized religion has so many skeletons in its closet, that there's no way of telling what is "the word of God". Everything has been twisted and contorted to feed someone's ego and for their own personal gain. How can you put so much faith in something that has been created by HUMANS, who are innately flawed?

Think about how many wars and how many people have been killed all in the name of "God". And how many more people are going to die before we stop letting your God or my God or his God determine wrong and right. And why, if you REALLY are religious, would you dare to judge me or my beliefs? I thought the whole central idea behind religion was to be tolerant and to not judge (lest ye be judged). I'm pretty sure there was some story about Jesus saving someone from being stoned because he said that the first person to cast a stone should be someone who hasn't committed a sin themselves. I see religion as hypocrisy at its finest.

So, I stopped believing in "God".

But, I still can't shake the feeling that there is SOMETHING out there... something bigger than you and I. The law of physics says that energy can not be created or destroyed... so when I die, what happens to MY energy? I don't think my thoughts or my feelings continue on after I'm dead, but I do think that my "soul" or energy or whatever you want to call it, can't just go away.

The more I learn about Eastern Philosophies, the more I start to get answers. I'm not saying that I follow Buddhism or Taoism or Confucianism some other "ism" that makes me seem all zen with life, but it is helping me be a little more at peace with the unknown. I like the idea of humility and virtue and compassion and MODERATION and to stop being greedy. Who can really argue with those fundamentals?

And then there's the idea of reincarnation and that your energy can be transferred into other living things. Live a good life now and you'll be rewarded in the next life... whats the worst that can happen if I try to live THIS life the best way I can? If it is true that I die and turn to dust, at least I'll have left a positive mark behind. And that might be why I love to teach. I love the idea that I can influence 150 minds every year. That maybe I can get them to be a little bit more compassionate and a little less selfish. Maybe I can get them to understand that material possessions don't mean anything and that life is about the experiences.

So, I'm still not sure what is really going to happen to me when I die, but I do have a little peace of mind that I may not just turn to dust. And I also need to keep in mind, that while my job may make me want to cry, in the end, it is about teaching the next generation a thing or two about tolerance and moderation...

There can be no light without darkness... No love without hate... No male without female... When they are equally present, all is calm. When one is outweighed by the other, there is confusion and disarray...

The greatest achievement is selflessness... The greatest patience is humility... The greatest action is not conforming with the worlds ways... The greatest generosity is non-attachment... The greatest goodness is a peaceful mind.

All living suffer... Suffering is due to greed... Suffering ends when greed ends... The only way to stop greed is to live a simple and compassionate life...