2009 Baja 1000... More Than Just a Race

I can't tell you how amazingly timed this years Baja 1000 was. If there was ever a time when I needed to get out of town and just enjoy life without all the hassles and drama and disappointments, this was it. Mexico does wonderful things for me, and when you couple it with a great group of people, then life doesn't get much better than this.

Start off with another victory for Dragonfire Racing. Car #1803 driven by Reid Nordin, Hans Waage, Todd Romano and Larry Roessler wins by a landslide! Larry let us take his pre-runner out to follow him down the coastline of the course. So, I jumped in with Reid and we ran the course behind Larry for about 50 miles. It was AWESOME! The coastline was beautiful and the ride was unbelievable. Thanks to Reid for letting me tag along and thanks to Larry for letting us take his ride out on the course!

There was a bit of drama though... but its the type of drama that goes with the territory. On Wednesday, the boys were headed out for a nice ride down to Ojos Negros, through Valle de Trinidad and would eventually end up at Mike's Sky Ranch, where we were going to stay the night. But, everything went terribly wrong just as they left Ojos Negros. Jack was in the lead and evidentially, kicked up a ton of dirt behind him... as Rasp came flying through at 70+ mph, he didn't see the barbed wire fence ahead of him. He slammed on his breaks, but it wasn't in time, his bike went down and he flew off, breaking his collarbone. Right behind him was Erik, who ended up going straight into a 4" x 4" fence post with his back. Kyle was also unable to stop, ran over Erik and ended up breaking both of his wrists. Gus was last to come in and ended up also running over Erik. Considering they had all ran into a barbed wire fence, we are so lucky that they only ended up with a couple broken bones.

Here's the deal - Rasp was supposed to race on Friday with Team 349x, but with the broken collar bone, it wasn't going to happen. Jeff decided to take over his leg. I'm beginning to think that Jeff is bad luck because 349x didn't make it past mile 40 before something blew on the bike. So, we decided it was time to get beers (at 9 am). The funny thing is, at 1 pm, word came over the radio that it was back in the race... oops. But, the scary thing is, at this point the trophy trucks are now on the course along with the Class I cars. There is now way Jeff, who has now had a half a dozen beers, should be riding over the summit with huge trucks barreling down on him. So, he opted out of the race. In the end, it was a great decision. 349x went through check at RM 101 but was never seen again. By the time we left the Baja Saturday night (24 hours later) they still hadn't found him.

So, we hung out at Borrego for most of the afternoon and caught all the action as the Trophy Trucks, Class I Cars, Motorcycles and Quads came flying through. There were helicopters buzzing over our heads that came so close to each other that I thought for sure they were going to crash. And they were so close to the ground, that you could feel the air from their blades.



After most the trucks came through, it was time to just chill and wait for the Dragonfire car to come through the check. As expected, it was blowing the rest of the cars in its class out of the water. Reid arrived around 7 pm at Borrego and turned the car over the Hans. Jack and I took of for the West Coast to meet the car at San Vincente. It was a 5 hour drive to get there and by the time we arrived it was freezing cold and we were exhausted. We grabbed our blankets and attempted to get a couple hours of sleep while we waited. Let me just tell you, that 2 people sleeping in the cab of a pick up truck is not the most comfortable thing in the world. But, we managed to get through and wake up just in time to make a coffee run before Reid came in. He turned the car over to Larry who brought it home...

So, that's my Baja story. You really do have to be there to understand how frickin awesome it is.

Gettin out of here!

Its Baja time again - back to the 1000. No Ironman riders this time, but good times will still be had. And let me tell you, this getaway could not have come at a better time. I am sooooo ready to get the heck out of here and leave it all behind me.

I've decided that a new outlook on life is in need. I need to rethink the way I've been going about things and consider other options. I recently learned that I am too strong willed. That my independence is intimidating. That I don't let people in enough and in the end, I just push them away. Hmmmm... maybe. Maybe I need to learn to be a little less opinionated and little more conforming. Maybe I need to learn to keep my mouth shut, smile and nod.

What defines you as a person? How do you become the person you are today? Recently, as in the past few years, I've been trying to redefine myself. Not "change" who I am per say, but break out the mold that has pigeon-holed me for so long. I've been known as stubborn, outspoken and "passionate". I think the last one is my favorite. That's what people call me when they're trying to be nice. Because we all know that "passionate" just means hot-headed. This is all true. I'll be the first to admit.

I don't like the way some people have defined me. I think they only see one side of me and therefore, they have made up their mind about who I am. But, that's only because I really don't want to let people see the softer side. SHOCKING, but there is a softer side inside this outspoken person. You just have to stick around long enough to see it.

Why would I just let you in without you proving to me that you're worth it? I've had too many people come and go in my life to know better than to just let you walk right on in. So, when you say you don't know me, thats because I don't want you to know me. I don't want you to see beyond the tough exterior I put out. You don't deserve it.

Does that sound a little angry? Sure it does. Do I care? Not really. That doesn't mean I don't care about YOU, it just means you're going to have to be a pretty outstanding person to see who I am behind the wall. So, go on thinking that I'll kick your ass if you step out of line (even though I've never been in a fight) and go on thinking that I'm too strong-willed (even though my tenacity is usually aimed at protecting YOUR rights) and please, please think that I'm too independent (even though I've been taking care of myself since well before any of you could even imagine).

I can be better person (EVERY ONE can be a better person) and I can learn to think a little more before I react. I like me, but that doesn't mean I'm not willing to take a step back and improve on me. But, do you get to critique me? Only if you really know me.

Just a little update...

Has it really been a month since my last blog? I don't know if I should apologize or say your welcome -- either way, its been a busy month. I have no epiphanies or revelations... which means I haven't had time to sit and overthink things. I can honestly say, life is really good right now.

Here is an uber boring, super superficial recap of the last month...

In the blink of any eye, rugby season is over :( While it ended a little earlier than we all wanted, there is no doubt that we had some HUGE improvements as a team and next year, ahhhh next year IT IS ON. And maybe, just maybe, my boots aren't ready to be hung up... I wonder how much this old body has left? We may just have to see...

Work is pretty awesome now that I've got a couple partners in crime... after just a few weeks, its like we've known each other forever. Got to love that! Not to mention, how much more fun is work when you can send a student with a merkin to the art teacher in the middle of class?

A couple weeks ago I was able to go home for a few days. It started off with a fantastic trip to Seattle with Amy Wusse and Sherri Pie. I forget how much I love those girls and how great they are. Then a nice little trip down to Portland for some much needed family time. It is weird not seeing my nephews all the time... definitely the downside to moving 1500 miles away. I miss those 2 little guys so much :-(

Here's some pics from the last few weeks:

Coaching in Scottsdale


Playing in Long Beach

Mountain Biking in Prescott

Celebrating in Seattle after beating the Mudhens

Hanging with my 2 favorite PBHS teachers...

Tempe Women v Nor Cal Triple Threat Match Report

Tempe women took their game on the road for the first time this season. Tempe started off very slow, taking a bit of time to adjust to the turf and the heat. Nor Cal took full advantage of the lethargic start and attacked straight up the middle of the field. Dynamic play by Nor Cal’s flanker and 8-man put Nor Cal on the board first at the 20 minute mark. Conversion was good and the score was 0-7. Tempe had yet to find the fire and Nor Cal was still hitting hard, within 10 minutes, Nor Cal was scoring again off a few missed tackles. Conversion no good, score 0-12. Tempe launched a few solid attacks but was not able to get the ball across in to the try zone. The halftime whistle blew and it was 0 – 12 Nor Cal.

Half time found a renewed fight in Tempe, but Nor Cal would not let up. At the 50 minute mark, Nor Cal put in another well executed try, conversion no good, score 0-17. Tempe finally started to find their groove and at the 55 minute mark, big pressure by the Tempe forwards created bad ball for the Nor Cal backs. Terri Wilson intercepted a pass and ran it in under the posts. Conversion was good and Tempe was finally on the board 7-17. With the swing in momentum, Tempe was on the attack and Nor Cal found themselves on their heals. 10 minutes later, Tempe forwards poached a ball, and spun it out to the backs. Flyhalf Toni Fujiwara put up a chip kick that had a generous bounce in to winger Alea Newman’s hands. Some evasive running and Alea was in the try zone. Conversion no good. Score 12-17.

Tempe continued the attack and brought the ball back down the field. Another half-break by Terri Wilson with a nice offload to Andrea Dunn into space. Nor Cal was able to get under the ball and the try was no good. 5 meter scrum to Tempe. A solid scrum by Tempe set up an 8-man pick by Kanisha Saunders who went weak. Winger Alli Underhill was in support and Kanisha offloaded to a crashing Alli who was able to put it down in the corner. Conversion no good. Score 17-17. As time was winding down, Tempe launched its final attack, bringing the ball to just outside the 22. Nor Cal came in from the side and it was penalty to Tempe. With no time on the clock, Christen Suda stepped up and coolly slotted the kick. The whistle was blown and the comeback was complete. Final Score Tempe 20 – Nor Cal 17.

Tries: Terri Wilson (55 min), Alea Newman (66 min), Alli Underhill (75 min)
Conversions: Christen Suda
Penalty Kicks: Christen Suda (80 min)

Heart of the Game: Terri Wilson
110 % Hammer: Chelsea McIntosh
Big Hit: Christen Suda (game winning kick with no time left)
Forward of the Game: Chelsea McIntosh
Back of the Game: Toni Fujiwara

I Hope You Dance...

I dance. I love to dance. For as much as I dwell on the bad decisions I have made in my life and for as many blogs as I have written about wishing I had more, I still dance. I think I have focused too much lately on the down-side to being spontaneous. Yes, I eat too much and I buy things I can't afford and I fall in love with the wrong people... but look at all the amazing things its also allowed me to do. You see, that impulsive side has also led me on some of the most incredible adventures and experiences of my life.

The crazy thing is, I didn't used to be so "in-the-moment". I used to fill out my check book with every entry, down to the penny and have spreadsheets for every thing going on in my life. When I was younger, I was afraid to take those risks that lead to epic moments in our lives. I was afraid to step outside of the box and challenge the norm. I went along with the popular crowd and did what was expected of me. When you graduate from high school, you're supposed to go to college, then you finish college and your supposed to get a job, find a husband and get married. So, I did that. But I was just going through the motions. I didn't know what I actually wanted in life. I had no idea who I was.

I wish I knew when it changed, but somewhere along I wanted more out of my life. I can't tell you the defining moment that I went from anal to spontaneous, but regardless of when/where it happened, I think its always been in me. Unfortunately, in order to find myself, I hurt someone along the way. I never meant to leave, but I wasn't being true to myself. So, I had to do what was right for me. I wish I would have taken a closer look at myself when I was younger, then I could have seen that things weren't right for me, but that's all a part of living and growing up. With impulse comes a little selfishness. I know that about myself... and I'm definitely working on fixing that.

So now I take advantage of every opportunity that's presented to me. I go at things 100% and I try not to look back. For all the bad decisions I've made in my life, there have always been positives that came out of it. I think that's the one thing that has always been a steady about me -- I go at things 100%. I make the most out of shitty situations. I see the bright side to things and I laugh things off.

And now look at where I am now - I am living in Arizona, single, coaching (not playing) rugby, making some amazing new friends who take me on some badass adventures, and I'm the happiest I have been in YEARS. I've weeded out people in my life who are not good for me and found the ones that really matter the most. I'm not afraid to make a fool out of myself (clearly). And everday, I dance.

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Livin' might mean takin' chances but they're worth takin',
Lovin' might be a mistake but it's worth makin',
Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter,
When you come close to sellin' out reconsider,
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

Stop the Sucking.

I'm getting sucked back in... As time passes on, its been so easy to just think about the good things. I am a positive person by nature.... which means I forget about all the negative. My mind likes to wander back to only the happy times -- that rush, the laughter, the excitement, the butterflies in my stomach (damn, I love those butterflies).

I tend to forget about how bad it hurt and how long the pain would linger. And the days it would take me to recover. Yet, despite all these things, I still find myself getting lulled back into the comfort of old habits.

I have had a few conversations with people close to me and I get conflicting advice. Some say to give it one more chance and that maybe it'll be different. Others say to be done and that it will never be the way it was before. The problem is, I have to tried to walk away...but I am in love. For all the pain it has caused me... it has created even more happiness in my life.

What is it about this one thing that makes it so hard to walk away? I have walked away from so many other things in my life. Yet this one thing keeps sucking me back in. If you've been around me, you might have noticed that this question has been eating me up for a while now --do I just walk away? Or, do I give it one more chance?

This last week was the hardest - it was all right there in front of me. All of the reasons I've thought about giving it one more chance. I had the butterflies and the nervousness of not knowing... But then there was that voice inside my head saying "of course it feels good now... but how's it going to feel next week, when you're hurt again?"

You see, I am a life long athlete. I've been playing competitive sports since I was 4 years old. I went through the standard growths that most average athletes go through (Freshman, JV to Varsity). But I was never a standout. No one really noticed me. I was average for so much of my life...

Until I found rugby.

And just like that, it clicked. And after a couple years, I was getting noticed. For the first time in my life, I was excelling and I was the one people pointed out. Fast forward 15 years and I still want in on the action. Sure, I'm not quite as fast, but my pass is still one of the best, I can still kick the shit out of the ball and I can put anyone in to a gap.

And so much of who I am today, is because of rugby. The women I played with have been a huge inspiration in my life. Rugby has taken me around the world from Spain to New Zealand to Hong Kong. Most of my closest and dearest friends I found through rugby. I didn't realized how much I loved this game and the people involved in it... until I tried to leave it.

But yet, I'm also finding out that I'm a pretty good coach. Its a lot like teaching, so of course I'd enjoy it. Its not the same as putting your boots on before, Eminem pumping in to earbuds, standing on the line just before kick off, and then everything going silent as the ball flies through the air... but there's still the excitement, the "I think I'm going to throw up" nerves, the adrenaline rush. Its just focused on other people and I'm no longer the one calling the shots at kick off.

So, I guess in the end, I just have to ask myself what my motivations are? As an old teammate put it -- do I "avoid the Favre"... retire gracefully, so people remember the good and not the bad or do I feed my stupid ego and give it one more shot?

I gots a lot to think about...

Living in a Plastic Bubble... a Bubble in a Plastic World

The more I think about it, the more I think I'm not unique when I say I am a chronic over-thinker. The way I see it, getting out and experiencing life isn't the worst way to distract yourself. Other people immerse themselves in their jobs or remodeling their house or working out to keep their minds from consuming them... we all have our own way of making it through the unpleasantries of life.

My neurosis is that I love the world. I want to learn about the unknown. I want to see things that less then 5% of Americans will ever see. I want to experience uncomfortable situations so I can become a stronger person. I like that I've lived in the jungle of Mexico for 2 summers... survived on a baguette and $2 bottle of wine a day for 7 weeks while backpacking through Europe... toured around New Zealand for 4 months in a $300 car I bought from some stranger on the side of the road... Those are some of the things that have shaped who I am today.

My therapist will tell you that this is why I am single. That I don't stop long enough to actually meet anyone. That the people I do meet are not the ones who want to settle down, because they only want the adventure and the adrenaline rush... But you know what, I call bullshit on that. Why can't you have both? Why can't you meet someone WHILE you're out adventuring and then share your adventures with them? Think outside the box!

Damn, I'm rambling. Refocus -- there was a reason for this blog...

My original point for this was to talk about how through all my travels, I thought I was a very worldly person and that I had exposed myself to so many different cultures. But what I'm realizing is that, when I travel, the people I've met along the way all tended to be very much like me. Those with that adventurous side, who love to put themselves out there and step outside their comfort zone -- we all tend to migrate towards each other. Even though I travel and see the world, I seem to always meet the same people. Whether its the SCUBA divers from Denmark or the photographers from Puerto Vallarta or the musicians from Canada... they're all the same people who love the world around them and want nothing more than to get as much of it as possible before they're gone from it.

And all this means is that my exposure to new views or conflicting opinions has been very limited. And when it has happened, I was always surrounded by my own people, who would back up MY views and let the other person know they were wrong. Its only been in the last few years that I have actually been able to have a real conversation with someone who doesn't agree with me and NOT get pissed off. This is what being a teacher and living in Arizona has showed me. To be open-minded to the views of those who I don't agree with. And to stay level headed when every ounce of my being wants to challenge every word coming out of their mouth. Granted, I don't always remember to keep my cool, but its getting better.

So, its time to get out of the bubble I have been living in for the past 31 years and realize that the rest of the United States does not operate like Portland, Oregon. How can I call myself open-minded if the only thing I've opened my mind to is views like my own?

"And it's a crazy mixed up world
Full of contradictions
And that's why it hurts so bad sometimes
But that's also why its fun

And I'm gonna love you like, I've got nothing to prove
Feeling good in the pocket
Like an old school… Groooooove

Living in a plastic bubble
A bubble in a plastic world
Ooh, ooh, ooh
Living in a plastic bubble
And it's good"

Plastic Bubble by ALO